You Have How Many Children?

As the father of four sons (our youngest being born just under two weeks ago), I have become accustomed to the glances received when out in public: the shocked looks, the sidelong glances, the curious or almost fearful approaches by those who wonder if “all of these kids are yours.” Then there’s the statements: from the always insulting: “You do know what causes that don’t you?” to the insipid references to similarity with rabbits; and the ever ignoble accusation that we are trying to be “like the Duggars.” These reactions are among the many that we have received, and these are just the ones from members of the church!

It is stunning to me to see the number of Christians who are outwardly hostile and skeptical of large families. They treat them as though they have some sort of malady or disease; as if, by the number of children they have, there is something wrong with them. Over the last couple of generations our families have gone from averaging three to four children to seeing anything over two as being excessive. Many Christians have bought into the materialistic worldview that children are a nuisance, a burden, a roadblock to prosperity.

However, the Biblical statements about families show beyond a shadow of a doubt how God feels about large families. Consider one such example: “Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate” (Psa. 127:3-5). The psalmist, by inspiration, extols the value and precious nature of children. They are an heritage of the Lord (vs. 3); the Hebrew word for “heritage” means “an inheritance, an heirloom.” Children are an inheritance from God. They are the greatest heirloom one can possess. They are later described as that which makes a man happy, or blessed. A man is blessed when he has his quiver full of those precious arrows. God considers children a blessing, not a curse; an inheritance, not a drain on prosperity; a reward, not a punishment. So why do we continually see Christians reversing God’s sentiment?

I believe we need to stop looking through the lens of the world when it comes to children and begin focusing through the lens of God. In a world where women desire life outside the home over the blessings of life with their families in the home, children are an inconvenience. In a world where the greatest goal in life is a financially stable 401k, children inhibit access to the full potential of that goal. In a world that focuses on self, it is inconvenient to set aside self to spend every day looking after and teaching another.

Nevertheless, when we look at the world through God’s lens the values are completely different. Children are the greatest resource for the development and growth of the church. Large families with godly parents who place God first and serve him in every possible way, training their children to do the same, are one of the greatest assets a congregation can have. The children not only increase the numbers within the congregation, but as they get older they increase the abilities and resources of the congregation through their incorporation into the work of the church.

Godly children are also the greatest inheritance a godly man can leave this world. We bemoan and loathe the direction our country is taking and the way our society has turned from God. One of the greatest impacts the church can have is a larger footprint in the next generation by means of those who love God, his word, and hold to his principles. Large families of Christians make possible that increased footprint and the possibility of a better future.

Please do not misunderstand me, I am not degrading small families or those who for health reasons and other maladies are either not able to have children or not able to have as many as they would like. It is not wrong or sinful to have a small family, and the children in small families are just as much a blessing and inheritance from God as any other. What does concern me is the lack of encouragement for the presence of large families. The increasing perception is that the family should have two children and then the mother should get back out in the workforce. That is not godly reasoning, nor is it principled in Scripture. May it ever be our goal that God bless us with godly parents; that those parents be blessed with a bountiful inheritance and that those blessings may grow up to glorify God and obey his will.



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7 responses to “You Have How Many Children?

  1. I didn’t realize that the US had gotten to this low point in this matter, too, and even in the church. “The world is too much with us,” was never more true.

  2. Unlike our world here, much of the Third World does value having many children because they are their 401(k), their social security, who will take care of them in their old age. And, as you say, children are spoken of as a blessing in the Old Testament.

    While Jesus does like to spend time with children–even when his disciples complain–he does not say they are part of the blessings of his new covenant. When a woman tells Jesus “Blessed is the womb that bore you,” Jesus responds that “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it” (Lk. 11:27-28). Jesus now speaks the word of God; those who hear this word and do it are his mother and brothers (Lk. 5:1; 8:21). They are the ones blessed by Jesus, in contrast to Mary and his brothers who stand outside (Lk. 8:19-20). Jesus’ new kingdom is a new family with new blessings.

    Mary and Jesus’ brothers do join this new family after his resurrection (Acts 1:14) and receive his greatest blessing, the gift of the Spirit (2:1-4). But Jesus also says he will cause division in families, and one’s worst enemies could be family members (Mt. 10:34-38). Jesus does not promise godly children to godly parents; God doesn’t have grandchildren.

    • I am not sure I fully understand your point. If you are stating that children are not a blessing under the new covenant I would have to staunchly disagree with you. The statements of Scripture continue in the New Testament to show the value and love of God for children and their continued value of blessing to us.
      However, if you are stating that children are not the only, or even the most important blessing, I would have no problem with that. Certainly the greatest blessing of all is salvation through the blood of Christ and I look forward to the day when my children will be my brethren.

  3. Donna Lane

    Amen! You have hit on something that I have often thought myself. It doesn’t matter how many children you have, what matters is that they are brought up in the “nurture and admonishen if the Lord.” God bless your sweet family!

  4. My husband and I adopted a daughter, had a bio daughter and then fostered 6-8 children at a time in addition over a 20 year span. We, too, got lots of glances and comments, even from the social workers who called and asked us to take the children! Any social activity was at our house because nobody wanted to prepare for 10 extra people! Even so, it was worth every minute of it! 😉

  5. Cheryl Cozort

    So, we’re still counting, right? Mom

  6. Jill cleghorn

    Amen, I would like this on Facebook if I new how,

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